The strength that is WOMAN

There are many things in life you may regret could have happened another way.

Your parents could have been more understanding or even kinder. Your family could have been more ‘together’. That you weren’t so shackled by the culture you grew up in or the country you were in or the religious diktats that were imposed on you. Or wish you had had the foresight to choose better relationships in your love life. Your career could have gone another way. Your education placed you in a more deserving job. Why couldn’t fate have dealt a better hand?

At some point in your life, some of these thoughts may have crossed your mind. Is it wrong to feel so? No. Although, I may add, it is discouraging for you to keep dwelling on it. Why? Because life isn’t a cakewalk for anyone in this world. The Bransons, Musks, Ambanis, Gates, spiritual gurus you think have it all, have each had to bear their own crosses. Pour through their life stories and you will encounter the pain they have once, experienced. Even the most beautiful being, the butterfly has to undergo a painful metamorphosis.

As a Victory Coach, I have hundreds of people who come to me, citing the wrongs that they have gone through. I see them living the angst from day to day. The pain gnawing at their innards and their refusal to let go. If you hold on to the bubbling acid within, how will you find peace? Pain is that demon you carry and nurture hoping it will assuage and wrap you in comfort. Is there any comfort in re-living the pain?

A few years ago, I had met a young woman who was repeatedly, raped by her brother at the young age of 13. Her life was a living hell filled with humiliation, anger, hurt and pain. What was worse, her parents disbelieved her. Life had been unfair. How would a young, happy, joyful girl know that the person she tied rakhi to, was the very person who would shatter her life in smithereens. She had every reason to curse and cry and in her weakest moment resort to ending her life. That dreadful blow is a shadow clouding every molecule of her being. The question was, “Is remembering it all, every day and re-living it, helping her in any way?” The magnitude of what happened to her can never, ever be gauged or alleviated by platitudes offered to her, no matter how convincing they might seem. Yet, it was imperative for her own peace, to move on. To let go.

She did, eventually. By sheer grit, determination and the desire to rip the dark clouds enveloping her world. She had a choice and she took a decision. Not, just to keep trudging.  But, to rip apart the shackles holding her back; to create a new path and run towards her dream of an inspiring and fulfilling life. A normal life. She is a woman who rose from the depth of despair to seek what was hers. To live a life she desired. She is an inspiration to me.

So, yes, you do have a choice. A choice to keep walking with your back bent, your soul broken and the fabric of your esteem torn to shreds. Or to accept that nothing can be done of the past – the family or country or religion you belong to, the choices made by others where you had no control.

But, today right now, YOU have that power. The power to stand tall and change what you can. The potential to live your life the way YOU want to. The capacity to chart your own course in waters YOU choose to. HOW BAD, DO YOU WANT TO?

You may realise that there is a lot of comfort in clutching the pain inflicted, real or unreal. It is your raison d’etre. It validates your need to live playing the victim. An ubiquitous drug that will carnivorously eat away each remnant of confidence, dream and desire you hold within and leave you bereft of supporting relationships, a successful career and the feeling of love towards yourself. Relinquish the power in being a sufferer and take charge of your life, your future.

We are all born with the ability to be awesome. Do NOT let the world around you stifle your path to awesomeness!

Keep inspiring and loving…yourself!

Some women fear the fire, some become it – R H Sin

Wage a war on status quo. Don’t just wish things to change. Get up and move things so that they change. Carve the story you desire from your life.  Make a list of NOT what you haven’t got, but of what YOU CAN ACHIEVE. The Universe is ready to give, are you ready to be in the receiving? When the mind is set on losing, how can you win? Hey, you weren’t born to be mediocre.

Outshout those who stifle your voice. Speak up and be heard. They say a crying baby, gets fed first. Learn to use the power to speak up and share your thoughts and feelings. Clarity is power. Wrest the controls to steer your life to victory. You are powerful. And as Maya Angelo says, ‘Each time you stand up, you stand up for all women.’

Mute that people-pleaser button. Use the Power of NO. When you say ‘Yes’ to everyone, aren’t you disrespecting yourself and your needs? Choose what feels light and right to you. If it takes away joy, why would you choose it? You are born to be happy and enjoy the miracles of life – so play your part well.

Aim higher. Let no one and nothing stop you in believing in your dreams. It’s okay to invest in your dreams, to be selfish. Remember, the flight safety instructions? You fend for yourself first so you have the strength to inspire others and be a beacon of hope.

Nag your way to victory. Do not GIVE UP. There will be plenty of naysayers and de-motivators in life and see you as they see themselves. People who didn’t exercise the power to do things differently. Be persistent and single-minded in fulfilling your goal. Let the Universe give up, NOT YOU.