ARE WE ALL VICTIMS?

I was watching my cat, Wriggley, all of 8 years old, kneading the pillow this morning with his paws. And, I was overwhelmed. Was he missing his mother? If he could share his feelings, what would he tell me now? That life has been unkind to tear him away from his fold of siblings? That I have been unfair in neutering him when he was just 9 months old? The trick destiny has played with him? Well, I really don’t know. But, it did get me thinking. About myself, my family, my friends and my clients.

Yes, it feels gratifying to blame others for your circumstances. Let me share my story.

As a young child from a family of 7, I was number 5 in the line-up, I always felt short-changed. I lived in the belief that my parents loved my older and younger siblings more. There were a few times when clothes were hand-me-downs from my older sister’s wardrobe. My other siblings’ misdemeanours were a cause of imposing restrictions on me. When I grew up and had a fall out with a few friends, I felt betrayed. When a love affair and later marriage met with its demise, I felt I was treated badly and taken advantage of. When people at work treated me unfairly, I was quick to judge that I was singled out. The time my other passed away – I was to go for a walk that day with her in the morning but, I pretended to sleep. Yes, I carried that blame a long time in my heart. I felt I was to blame and flagellated myself for years over it. You may find these scenarios familiar. Or perhaps a few of them.

It is so easy to choose to play victim. Blame everyone around for the hurts which may be true and may, at times be created by our own vivid imagination.

What makes us hold on to being the victim? I’ve asked this several times. In my case, I found the need to be the ‘wronged’ one stemmed from the desire of seeking love – being loved. You live in the dramas you create because it keeps you alive. To live in the pain, somehow, even justifies your existence. Does it nourish you? No. It eats into you like a cancerous parasite, feasting every time you share your story of being victim. It impedes growth because you don’t want and are unable to let it go and march ahead embracing the joy of life.

It took me a lot to realise that I was not reaping anything out of these stories I believed in. We are all in essence, ‘victims of victims’, as Louise Hays states. The sooner we accept and forgive ourselves and others, the more peace we invite into our lives. The sooner we begin to LOVE ourselves, the sooner the pain of being short-changed, dies. Start loving yourself. You are the most beautiful and unique creation born into this world. Stop berating and hating the world and yourself. Every moment spent reliving your loss is a moment in the present lost forever.

What would you like to choose for yourself, today or from hereon?
Remaining a victim or liberating yourself through love of yourself?
May the choice you make, as I did several years ago, create peace and love.

Have an amazing week ahead!