Words Are Never Just Words

It was a perfect evening. I had a scrumptious lunch and headed to the movie – Ram Leela, I recall correctly. The movie was barely half way through when I noticed 6 missed calls from her. I stepped out to take that call. Little realising that that call would change my life, too.

She spoke to me with a calmness that surprised me. “Hi Ma’am, I’m in my building, on the terrace. It’s the 18th floor and I am standing on the edge of the parapet. I wanted to check with you, should I go forward or step back? And, tell me why?”

My head started buzzing, there was a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, the lunch I ate seemed to churn violently and I feared I would retch on the Cinemax’s carpeted floor! And, it suddenly hit me! Mine will the last call in her log!!

Yes, I was terrified. I drew upon all the knowledge I’d acquired through my experience that seemed minuscule compared to what I was faced with now. I prayed that the next words out of my mouth would be what she was hoping to hear from me and more. Importantly, to help her change her mind.

I mustered up words from the well of my experience and we spoke for what seemed like hours, though it was only 45 minutes. It was hard for me – emotionally, physiologically and spiritually. The strain that any word, sentence could have her take that step forward and the loss would be unimaginable. The very thought rents a shiver down my spine even now, after 2 years.

She did, eventually step back and head home. She became my project, my baby who I had to for all it took, see the beauty her life, truly was, despite the tragedy she was living though. There was never a moment after that, where I never took her call. Be it an important business meeting, a consultation, a dinner or movie – my eyes would keep checking if she had called.

Today, this story is a thing of the past for her. She has moved on and transformed from the weak-hearted and fragile person to a woman who manages her life very well and looks forward to each day with a song of happiness and joy on her lips.

She still battles with some demons in her mind though her strength outlives them.

I am of the belief that nothing in life, just happens. There is a reason, a learning for those involved. The learning for me was immense. The responsibility that my words impact way deep was a reality check. It’s never easy when you live the pain of others while helping them in their healing as well. That sense of detachment is never easy. Though, it is imperative to dissociate and yet be connected.

Words can be many things. A bridge or even a weapon. But they can also be love and the safety of an open palm.

Love and prayers to those who are waging battles of life that seem hard to fight.