NO ONE LOVES ME!

At some point in life, you may have felt this way. As a little child, a teenager, a young adult and even as an older person. Your reason could be anything. A meal your mum may have not prepared, a teacher choosing a favourite and you haven’t been their choice, unrequited love, a spouse concerned more about existential angst than proclaiming their love to you, a grandchild or child not connecting the way they used to.

All extremely plausible, isn’t it? What happens when someone tells you, ‘No one loves me! I don’t even get ‘Likes’ on the best picture I upload on FB or Instagram’; ‘I have people following me but no one cares to comment on anything I share!’. The pain in the eloquence speaks volumes.

She was a 22 year-old who visited me for a consultation. I did wonder, what made her choose a counsellor? She is successful at her work, earns well, has a doting family and is of an effusive disposition.

Her plea wrenched my gut. She was sobbing bitterly and in between the incoherent words lay the nightmare she seemed to be living daily. The anxiety she went through outweighed the excitement of sharing her life in pictures or words. The masochistic way she kept doing it for months till one day, she couldn’t take it any more.

Yes, there are many like her who perhaps go through the same feeling these days. Waiting validation through the number of Likes, Reposts and RTs to justify our self-worth.To validate our existence.

Self-love is slowly and gradually turning to placing undue performance pressure on yourself by comparing your worth based on social media acceptance.

My advice to her was straightforward. Love yourself and who you are. You don’t need anyone’s validation to gauge your TRP.
Post and upload because you simply want to share. And, leave it at that. Love yourself so much that what happens in real life is more rewarding than the virtual world of make-believe.

It’s been a year now. She chose to be off the social media and meet those who mattered to her. Her life is a book of happiness she created for herself. She lives in the real world now. Happy to simply, be.

Loving yourself is the hardest for most of us. But, try it. The tranquility it provides outnumbers anything else. In the words of Ian Wallace, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?”

Have an amazing weekend. Hug yourself right now!